“She was the tide, always drifting in and out of the lives of people who loved her, eternally indecisive, unable to discern whether she desired the solidity and safety of land, or the wild freedom of the ocean.” – Beau Taplin, Wild Ocean
On Tuesday, I had my first surfing lesson.
At age 44.
And can I just say, I feel like a badass.
My main goal was to stand up during this first lesson. Guess what? I STINKING DID IT! Sadly, only my surfing coach, Shonee (pronounced “Shown” – he said his parents were hippies and loved Native American names) and I were there to witness it. Stephen dropped the ball (not really, he has business to take care of) and didn’t make it down to the beach in time to see it or film it. I have no proof of my achievement so you’ll have to take my word for it. But that also means I got up fairly quickly – within the first 30 minutes. High-five to me!
Here’s the full story.
I offhandedly mentioned to Stephen one day that I was interested in taking some surfing lessons while I was here. It had long been a dream of mine. A box not yet marked off the “Bucket List.” I’ve chickened out when the opportunity has presented itself before, but as the universe works, it came back around. If something (or someone) is meant for you, you really can’t miss it. Anyhoo, we went out to dinner with a lovely couple (Shonee & Shelly) who are staying at The Stella while visiting family in the area (Shonee grew up in Yamba) and the topic came up. Shonee immediately offered to teach me. I was excited and scared all at the same time but I knew if I was ever going to do it, now would be the time. I would regret it if I didn’t take him up on his kind and generous offer.
So we set a day to meet in the morning and go to the beach for a lesson. Also, the Universe provides in its own unique way, and someone had left a surfboard at the motel and it was perfect for a new surfer…me. It’s long (easier to ride) and a cute pastel pink.
Shonee and I met at the front of the motel near the famous “black and white chairs” and walked over to check the waves from the top of the hill. They were big and breaking fast. He said, “it will be hard but you can do it.” I trust him. He’s been surfing all his life. He knows the ocean well and how to read the waves. We went back to The Stella to grab our boards, towels, and sunscreen. Stephen did happen to catch this moment on camera thankfully.
The first thing Shonee taught me was how to wax the board, making little crosshatches and then a full-on wax across the board so your feet don’t slip. Easy enough. Not only was he the teacher but my photographer as well. It’s good to have multitalented people in your sphere.
Next, we took the board down to the beach and he drew an outline of it in the sand so I could practice on land. This entailed pretending to paddle and then doing a quick push-up while jumping to my feet, realigning my footing, and bending my knees to have a strong base while riding a wave.
Shonee was a drill sergeant. He calls me Kansas. He kept yelling, “Kansas, get down. Start over. Get down. Do it again…and again…and again. Kansas, I said get down and do it again” over and over. I was feeling like Demi Moore in G.I. Jane but with hair. Thank goodness I’ve been doing tons of chaturangas and upward-facing dogs in yoga, otherwise, I may have bailed out before I even got in the water. This was a workout in and of itself.
Once the drills were over, he said, “don’t be a wimp” (but he used a different word that I can’t write otherwise this post will probably be banned from your inbox) right before we entered the water. Ha! I could tell I would have to prove myself to him and show no signs of weakness or fear. I’m good at this game. I’ve experienced this type of scenario many times before while participating in sports and working in male-dominated fields. So I mentally focused on the positive, believing I was going to succeed and become the best damn surfer ever. Most of the battles in life are mental anyway.
We made our way into the surf. The waves were big and coming fast. We were getting pummeled just trying to get out there. He taught me that when trying to cross through the waves, to do one of two things depending on the wave. Either grab the rails (sides) of the board and go over the smaller waves or hold the tip of the board, push it down and dive into the bigger, breaking waves to decrease the impact.
His initial plan, was for me to get on the board (at the right time between waves), paddle out a little, flip the board around when the right wave came along and he would give me an extra push to get me going. He wanted me to just ride the wave while on my stomach. We did this too many times to count. He was such a good sport about it because as he pushed me the wave would also hit him. He wasn’t on a board but those waves can crash down hard when you are just standing there.
After many times of riding on my stomach, he encouraged me to try to pop up on my feet. I fell off several times but I could see my progress and I could also see the mistakes I was making and Shonee helped me adjust. He was awesome about guiding me on where my body should be on the board and how to read the waves. Finally, after several tries, I did it! I stood up and actually rode a wave for more than 5-10 seconds – this doesn’t seem like much but it is. It was exhilarating! I could feel the movement of the ocean and the speed under my feet. I could see the white water spraying out from the sides of the board. Ahhh, it really was amazing!
I don’t do drugs, and I don’t really drink alcohol, in fact, I don’t have any vices that I’m aware of unless it’s being an adrenaline junkie. This ride, even for just a brief moment was worth the last thirty minutes we spent getting knocked down, wave after wave. I was so excited I screamed (really loud) and ran through the water to Shonee, double high-fived him, gave him a huge hug for helping me and almost drowned us both in the surf. Ha! I was on cloud nine. My adrenaline was pumping. I was so proud of myself and felt confident in my accomplishment. It was glorious. This, folks, is what happens when we tackle our goals head-on. Pure joy and pride. I became a warrior that day.
After all the excitement, we noticed Stephen walking down to the beach so we came in to tell him about it…and get some rest. Shonee thought it would be a good idea to try another beach with more gentle waves. I’m sure he was exhausted from fighting the big waves as well. So we grabbed our boards and walked about a half mile (this was also a workout) to another beach around the corner. It was beautiful but the waves weren’t as good. He said it didn’t matter for now because this would help my form as a beginner. Since the water was calmer, this involved a lot, and I mean a lot of waiting and paddling, which I did not enjoy, but I did learn a thing or two while we were out there…waiting. As a fun-loving Sagittarius, I want the thrill!
Stephen quickly showed up at the other beach to take some photos but sadly I didn’t get up on the board to ride a wave for more than a second or two but I didn’t care, I had already reached my big dream and now, I can say I’m a surfer…I don’t care that it was only once for a few seconds, let me have my moment, people.
Surfing is a great metaphor for life. Here are some things I learned.
1. Life is preparing you for the next thing, even when you don’t know what that next thing is.
2. Say yes to the opportunities that present themselves.
3. Find a mentor/teacher. You don’t always have to figure it out on your own – or reinvent the wheel.
4. When you get knocked down, get back up, grab your board, and get back in the waves.
5. There are going to be boring moments while you wait for the next thing…don’t be impatient, just keep paddling and the right wave will come along.
6. Let others give you a push to move you along your path.
7. Fear less. It really will all work out in the end.
8. You’re going to get some bumps and bruises along the way. Don’t worry, time will heal them.
9. What is meant for you, will not miss you. Whether that be the perfect wave, a plane, a bus, or a man/woman…you can’t miss it.
10. Have positive self-talk and believe in yourself. There are parts of yourself always listening.
I struggle sometimes with taking the road less traveled. I feel like I’m not “doing life correctly,” or even wrong, but all of this international travel, meeting people from around the globe, and having new experiences has pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me realize, there is no “right” way to live. With my newfound sense of freedom and confidence, I have a feeling surfing, Italian language, and Ashtanga yoga, will be just the first of many new things, I’ll try this year. I’m getting better and bolder with every experience. They (whoever “they” is) say that building your confidence is just like building any other muscle. The more you do it, the stronger it gets.
I plan to go back out to “catch some more waves, dude” while I’m here and see if I can improve this new skill I’m learning. I’ve always wanted to live near the ocean and I’d love to be able to grab a board and ride a wave whenever I want. I think I was born in the wrong place, and sometimes during the wrong time period but that’s for another post. I love the beach, the ocean, and even the mountains so much. How was it that I spent my childhood in “flat as a pancake,” landlocked, Kansas?
So if I can learn new things, so can you. Get out of your comfort zone, find the teacher, buy the kayak, learn a new language, take up chess, visit your dream location, etc. Just start and the rest will work itself out.
What is something on your list that you’ve always wanted to try?
I learned that it was International Women’s Day this week, so for all the female readers out there, go out into the world and be a badass. We need more of them in this world.
Goodnight and much love from the beaches of Australia. 🇦🇺
PS: I woke up the next morning super sore and covered in bruises on my hips, knees, ribs, and even elbows. Beautiful battle scars. I don’t usually take medicine but I did take some painkillers that morning with breakfast. Wowza. Even really tough warriors need to be patched up sometimes.
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