“Everything can be taken from a person, but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl
I mentioned in my previous post that the main reason for my trip to NYC was to visit a dear friend. Meet Mrs. Zofia Pollak, affectionately known to me as Mrs. P. This year, she celebrated her 100th birthday on April 14th, and I wanted to make the trek to Brooklyn to wish her a Happy Birthday in person.
For five years, almost every Thursday for two hours, Mrs. P and I played Scrabble (she is a tough competitor, a shark; don’t let her age fool you!), shared stories about each other’s lives, and sipped tea. We met when I signed up to be a friendly visitor through Selfhelp, an organization that supports Holocaust survivors. I remember at our first meeting, she said, “We will not play Scrabble today. Today, I will tell you my story.” I left our first visit with red, swollen eyes and a handful of wet tissues from crying. Her life story is one of unimaginable trauma met with unwavering bravery, resilience, and a will to live and tell her story.
Born in Poland, Mrs. P was only 17-18 years old when her family was taken by the Nazis. She was a good student, a competitive ice skater, and dreamed of studying law or becoming a doctor. She lost her mother and young sister immediately to the death camps and was miraculously reunited with her father and brother in a concentration camp because of the mercy shown by one of the guards who had captured her when she was on the run after her mother told her to jump from the moving train on their way to the camp. Some of her mother’s final words to her were “You will live and tell our story.” And she has done just that. Unfortunately, she never ice skated again or attended university – the Nazis stole those dreams from her – but I am positive that she has made her mother proud. Mrs. P’s story has many more twists and turns, but she survived it all with grace and without hate in her heart.
“Human suffering anywhere concerns men and women everywhere.” Elie Wiesel.
With the help of her lovely daughter, Claire, I had the privilege of visiting her again to celebrate her centennial birthday. I had not seen her in person since the summer of 2018, though we’ve kept in touch occasionally by phone or email. Our conversation during this visit seemed to pick up where we left off. It felt just like the old days.
She held my hand as we caught up on life and family. Claire and I were both in awe of how much she remembered. She asked about my family and if my sister was still practicing law. She asked about my boyfriend (by name) from that period of life, how he was doing, and if we are still in touch. Then, in classic Mrs. P fashion, she scolded me for not being married yet…ha! Her message hasn’t changed in 12 years: “It’s time to settle down, Emily.”
Although her hearing and eyesight have weakened, her spirit is still strong and she uses her iPad to FaceTime weekly with her family – two kids, six grandkids, and two great-grandkids. Family, understandably, is everything to her. She continues to live in the home where she and her husband raised their family, with the help of her aide Sylvia, who has been with her as long as I’ve known her.
It warmed my heart to see her still using the Scrabble mug I gave her years ago. And of course, we laughed about how I always had to eat one of her Nips caramel candies during each visit – because what grandparent doesn’t keep a dish of hard candy on the coffee table for the youngsters to enjoy? It keeps us coming back for more!
As I was getting ready to leave, she looked at me and said, “I want you to see me walk.” Then, with grace, determination, and without any assistance, she popped up from her chair, grabbed her walker, and walked me to the front door. She gave me a big, sincere hug and a kiss on the cheek goodbye. I tried to soak in every moment of that hug – you never know when it could be the last.
As I wrote in her birthday card, it is hard to put into words what her presence has meant to me, and I am forever grateful for her friendship and our time together. May her story and her legacy of survival, love, and strength live on through her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and beyond.
Mrs. P taught me many things, but most importantly, that love will always win over hate…it just may take some time.
I’ve included a photo from our Scrabble days (above) and one from her 90th birthday celebration (below) in addition to photos from this visit. Isn’t she beautiful? ❤️
Happy 100th birthday, Mrs. P!
Since our visit, I’ve thought a lot about Mrs. P and what she went through during the war and since. Surviving for years on barely any food. Not getting to brush her teeth, wash her clothes, or comb her hair regularly if at all. Losing everything and starting life over in not only one country but three (France, Canada, and the US).
She is so intelligent and speaks multiple languages. During one of my visits years ago, the phone rang and she answered the call, speaking fluent German. She played it off as if it was nothing – “Oh, that was just one of my friends calling from overseas,” but to me, it was another reminder of her resilience and ability to adapt to circumstances beyond her control.
She is not only my Scrabble buddy but my hero.
Good Things List
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Mrs. Zofia Pollak
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Friendship
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Scrabble and Nips!
Much love & gratitude. Namaste 🙏
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