“You mean, I’m a criminal?” – Me, as I was getting escorted to the “special office” in the airport for people who have overstayed their visas in Bali.
Yep, I broke the law and now I have a rap sheet. I did not pass go. I did not collect $200. And thankfully, I did not end up in a jail cell. I did, however, have to pay 1,000,000 Rupiah ($66) to the Balinese government for (accidentally and unintentionally) overstaying my visa by one day (1 DAY!), because math isn’t my strong suit. They even put a fancy stamp in my passport for those “special folks” who break the law. If anyone is winning at life guys, it’s me. My lack of attention to detail gets me in trouble every. single. time. I’m more of, what you’d call, a big-picture gal. But I do feel that my coolness factor just went up a notch, maybe two. I’m a rebel, literally without a cause…just stupidity. Maybe I should get a tattoo to commemorate this monumental event. You know, go all in and join the club. Become a full-fledged member of the visa over-stayers in Bali gang – The VOSBG.
So, here I sit…a felon for life. hmph.
I technically left Bali on Monday, after pleading guilty to my crime. I’m in Australia now but I can’t move forward with the blog, without a wrap-up sharing a few of the amazing things I learned about Bali and writing a little something about my new buddy, Eddie – driver, tour guide, coconut man, spiritual gangster, and friend for life. Everybody really does need an Eddie in their life.
Every morning, Eddie picked up several of us, yogis, to drive us 20 minutes into the jungle for our yoga practice at AYBRC. My assigned pickup time was 6:50 am, on the dot. Eddie is many things and punctuality is at the top of the list. On these drives, Eddie shared and taught me/us many things about Bali, the culture, the people, the traditions, etc. He would answer all of the bazillions of questions I would have for him each day. He really is a saint. As a wondering wanderer/curious traveler, I wanted to know everything there is to know…which, if the government will allow me back into the country, I’m sure there are more things for me to discover. But here are a couple of my favorite things on the list that Eddie taught me. (I did get Eddie’s permission to share his stories)…
The Happiness Factor
The Balinese people are some of the happiest people I’ve encountered on all of my travels around the globe. There is only one other place that I have visited where the people are authentically this happy, and that was in a tiny village outside of Durban, South Africa. I asked Eddie why/how everybody is so happy. Everywhere you go, people are smiling, laughing and genuinely having a good time. He said, “There are two factors. One is the daily offering/ceremony. And two, the society is community-based – we all look out for each other.”
Simple, right? So why do most of us make it so hard on ourselves?
I probed a little deeper. He went on to explain that almost everyone in Bali is Hindu, although Indonesia as a whole is primarily Muslim, and the daily offering/ceremony is essential to who they are. So those little baskets of flowers, candies, and incense (I wrote about them previously) that they place out on the streets, in their homes, or in their cars have a great deal of meaning and importance in their daily lives. To me, it feels as if it actually does change the vibration of not only Bali but the planet as a whole. You know, the butterfly effect. There are videos on YouTube if you are interested in seeing the rituals.
Eddie shared his own personal ritual that he does every morning (I have permission to share). It was so beautiful and his intentions are so pure, I almost cried when he told me the story.
Every home has a temple. Some are more elaborate than others, but nonetheless, this is where people typically go to pray and make their offerings. Eddie does his ceremony in his van. Why? Because he spends a lot of his time in the car. He said he prepares the basket with flowers, a sweet candy, and incense, and prays for; his family, including parents, siblings, wife, kids, extended relatives, and ancestors. The Balinese NEVER forget their ancestors. They respect the lineage. Next he prayers for all of us. He asks for the protection of all his passengers and the other people on the road. And finally, if he has any problems or worries, he offers them up as well…and lets them go. Then he meditates for a few minutes. He said, in total, he spends about 5-10 minutes each morning doing his offering. This doesn’t seem like much time at all but the daily habit/ritual of this offering and releasing of problems/worries appears to reap big rewards in the area of contentment and happiness.
Every time I would get in the car and see his offering, I would smile and say a little prayer for him too. It really does have an effect on your mood.
The second part of his answer was that their happiness is also due to the fact that they are a community-based society vs. an individualistic society (i.e. the Western World – Europe/USA/Etc). I read an article about this topic not too long ago. I couldn’t find the exact article I read, but this one was also interesting. The article I read was about shame vs. guilt and how the society we grew up in shapes that part of our development. In individualistic societies, we experience guilt if we aren’t reaching what we believe to be our potential and we also are more self-focused and motivated. Community-based societies experience shame. People are motivated to do the right thing to be able to stay within the group and not be “kicked out.” They also focus their efforts so the entire group succeeds/thrives, not just themselves.
One day we were driving back from yoga and I noticed 8-10 men working on a side road. I asked Eddie if they were employed by the city/county. He said no, they just live in the area and the road needs to be fixed. So throughout the day, men who have time will come by and help work on whatever project needs attention and when they need to leave for work or whatever reason, other people will come to help until the project is finished. Nobody gets paid but the road/project gets fixed and everyone can use it…because it’s for the community.
I’ve heard stories about America “back in the day” and people having “barn-raising parties.” A farmer would need help putting up a barn and all the neighbors would pitch in to help, no questions asked, no money exchanged. That doesn’t seem to be happening much anymore. It appears most people just hire someone to do it. It feels like we don’t even know our neighbors much anymore. Which feels isolating and disconnected. So to witness (many times) this kind of community effort firsthand was a refreshing perspective. People want a better way of life, so they work together to make it happen and in return, they have a higher level of happiness.
Cremation Ceremony
I know it might sound weird, but I was hoping to witness a cremation ceremony while I was in Bali. Before arriving in Ubud someone told me about these ceremonies and how beautiful they are and a truly unique experience. So of course I asked Eddie about it. He explained that they have public cremations (depending on the village) every 4-5 years. So when a person dies, all the men in the village go to the home of the family and stay up all night sitting with the body so the family can get some rest (I love this community-based lifestyle – actually, Made my Airbnb host got a call one night to do this). Then they have a small ceremony and bury the body in a cemetery…temporarily. Because it is so expensive to have a cremation ceremony, people are cremated together – as a community. So when a person dies, every family (there are 200-250 families in Eddie’s village) donates 50,000 rupiahs to the cremation fund for the village. When it comes time to do the public ceremony, they have all pitched in to cover the costs. They also do all the preparation together as well…building the pyre and putting together all the ceremonial decorations, etc. The ceremony is a big deal and is very elaborate.
Eddie said their next public cremation is July 22nd. He said, within weeks of the ceremony, the men in the village will dig up all the bodies (which he said are mostly bones at that point) and will place them on the pyre to be cremated. I know it sounds unusual for those in the western world but this is really a beautiful tribute and honor to life and the ones we loved.
Now, there are some exceptions. Bali has a caste system but it is not recognized so much anymore in day-to-day life. No matter the caste you are born into you can do most jobs and have a nice life…unless you are of the Brahmanas class which means you are from the priest caste. Not everyone can be a priest, you must be born into a family of priests. And this does affect your burial/cremation. If the person is of a higher caste, a wealthier family, or a public figure, their cremation happens at the time of their death and not in the community cremation ceremony. But otherwise, everyone in the community is cremated together.
There are videos of the ceremonies on YouTube as well if you want to learn more.
Where do you stay?
One of the most frequently asked questions that tourists receive is “Where do you stay?” Which seems like a weird and somewhat invasive question to ask someone. I thought, why do they want to know? Are they going to come and rob or kill me in my room? Shopkeepers, waiters, market sellers, etc would ask me this daily. So, I went to the guy who knows all and asked him about it. Eddie explained that they aren’t serial killers or criminals (like I am now), they are asking because they are trying to find common ground…maybe they know someone who works where you are staying. They are trying to start a conversation to connect with you.
Facepalm. Oh, well I’ll just put my little skeptical and paranoid mind back in the box at the back of my brain where it belongs.
I should have learned by now. There are definitely more good people in the world than people who are trying to do me/us harm. I’ve encountered so many more Eddies of the world than jerks.
……………………..
Okay…..The last weekend (when I was blissfully unaware I was overstaying my visa) of my trip to Bali, I went to a little fisherman’s village called Amed. It’s about a 2.5/3 hour drive outside of Ubud. It’s a peaceful little place and perfect if you want some relaxing downtime before heading to your next destination. The beaches are black because of the volcanic rock and the water is perfect for swimming and snorkeling (not many big waves). I stayed at a cute little hotel, Meditasi Bungalows & Villas with a fantastic restaurant. I ate, probably, the best curry in my life there. Randomly, I discovered that Liz Gilbert had stayed there (twice) as well. Anyhoo, my room, and the view were amazing and I was loving the outdoor shower.
In conclusion, if you ever visit Bali and you want to hire the best guy in town to show you around, let me know and I’ll give you Eddie’s number. He won’t be late and he will teach everything there is to know about Bali, I promise.
Also, don’t overstay your visa. They really don’t like that.
Goodnight and much love from Bali/Australia! 🇮🇩🇦🇺
PS: just to show the synchronicities of my life (or that big brother is reading my work) this movie was in the top spot when I opened my Netflix. Ha!
I’ve included some photos (that I haven’t already shared) from my time in Bali. I love this first one. This man was transporting goldfish on a scooter in the pouring down rain.
