“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” – Buddha
Today was a much easier day physically but mentally and emotionally it was taxing. My knee was working in perfect condition (Hallelujah!) however I gained several blisters. Stephen was kind enough to perform an extremely unsterile blister popping surgery for me at the breakfast table. They say nothing is more annoying than a mosquito in your bedroom while you are trying to sleep but I’d wager a bet on that against a pinky toe with a blister while walking 13.5 miles over rugged terrain in Northern Spain.
Mentally and emotional today was tough. I’m in a huge transformational phase in my life. Many parts of my life (inside and out) are changing and letting go and trusting have always been somewhat of a challenge for me. I like to be in control. So when I decided to come on the Camino, I wanted it to be my guide. I vowed I would follow its lead. I would have ultimate trust that it will always provide. So far, so good. Little things like meeting a stranger at the airport and splitting a cab to our hotels that were 3 minutes apart. Fantastic. Hanging out with a foodie from Vietnam who pushed me to try foods out of my comfort zone – including pigs ear. Sure, why not. It turned out to be a fun and enjoyable experience. Finding a cheap and direct lift with a couple of random people to the city where I would begin the Camino. Piece of cake. I’m all in. Having breakfast with a girl who happened to be walking to the same bus station as me to meet said people for the road trip. Divine. Let’s walk together. But now, it’s forcing me to look at other areas of my life. Parts I avoid because it’s too painful. I’ve never been a collector of things. Material stuff and money never mattered much to me. I like a simple, uncomplicated life. But I am a collector of people. Every encounter is sacred to me. So when relationships change or people drop away for one reason or another, it’s tough for me to let them go. Today, I was grieving the loss of a few relationships. How or why it even came up, I don’t know. But I know it’s a sensitive area for me that I usually avoid. I even had a few tears roll down my cheeks at one point while walking alone. But that’s what makes the Camino so beautiful. It gently helps you along in the process of growing, changing and releasing. It always gives you what you need over what you want. In this case, I need (and truly want) to get better at letting go of things, people and places that are not meant for me anymore. There is no good or bad, right or wrong, just letting go so there is space for the new “stuff” to arrive so it can set down it’s luggage for a bit before the cycle happens all over again. It’s a process but I’m starting to make a tiny bit of headway and just trust.
On a happier note, the views continue to be absolutely gorgeous!
Best quote of the day: “The Camino has made me kinder. If I was a business man now, I’d lose.” Stephen (real estate mogul and future French Gite (hostel) owner)
Funny moment: It’s not all glitz and glam out here on the trail. Sometimes you score a hostel with a washer and dryer and sometimes you get a hairdryer to dry your clothes.
Highlight: walking on the beach and soaking my tired feet in the salty ocean.
San Sebastián – Zarautz – 21.5km
Something I meant to mention yesterday. We stayed in a hostel in San Sabastián that was hosting Ukrainian refugees. Apparently many of the hostels here in Spain are helping families who have been displaced. It’s a beautiful thing during a very awful situation.
Goodnight and much love from Spain.
