“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
My favorite First Lady and my all time favorite quote.
The rooster was crowing and I woke up refreshed, clear headed and ready to go another round.
Question of the day: Why am I rushing?
I don’t really believe in good or bad, or, right or wrong decisions. I just think it’s all part of the life experience. Which is to say, “you can never know the consequences of good fortune or the consequences of misfortune”. A quote from one of my favorite parables. You can watch it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byQrdnq7_H0
Yesterday’s decision to try to advance further on the map was an eye opener. I was focusing on a goal that is not in line with the reason I came on the Camino. I pushed too hard, had too much stress around a false goal and completely wore myself out. So much that I don’t even remember writing yesterday’s update. I’m going to use this as a teaching moment and not do it again. Looking back, I thought it was interesting that the Camino literally put us on a wild goose chase with a ton of extra mileage for no reason. We didn’t get any further than we wanted to and yet, we basically went in circles and became completely exhausted trying to get there. I’ve done this in life many times. The merry-go-round. Again, “it’s not the load that breaks you but the way you carry it”. I was so focused on the destination that I didn’t enjoy the journey. Heck, I don’t even remember anything except stopping to say hello to the animals which is the only time I was truly in the moment. I have zero recollection of the majority of the scenery. It’s not good to force things. So I’ve decided again, because I’m not good at learning lessons the first time, to slow down my Camino.
I told Stephen to feel free to move on ahead if he wants to do so. As of now, he is cool with slowing it down and doing less mileage per day and enjoying more towns. If I wanted this to be a workout I could have stayed in the States and continued going to the gym. I wanted to immerse myself into the culture and the full experience. It’s not everyday you get to walk across a foreign country and see it from such a unique perspective.
I’m in Europe until July and I’ll finish this around mid-June. There is no reason for me to jump to the end. I’ve been invited to Germany, the Netherlands and Italy to see some pilgrims that I previously walked with but that decision will need to be made at a later date. I was even daydreaming today about going to Majorca and lying on the beach for a week. I don’t know who I will meet or what will happen between now and then. Last year, I ended up going to Italy with Luca, the guy I hiked the entire way with, and renting an apartment for a month. It was fantastic to have a local who loves his country to show you around, tell you the history and teach you about the culture and, of course, how to make pasta the authentic way.
These are all reasons why I love walking the Camino, you never know who you will meet or what will happen. I walk it to dive deeper into myself, not to just trample the pavement. I’ve always been a seeker of knowledge, truth, authenticity, depth, an understanding of others and their cultures and of travel to enrich my experience during this short time on the planet. The Camino is all of that in one place. It’s utopia. Why would I rush it?
So today, I took it down a notch and I strolled the Camino. Like the elderly on a Sunday at the Coney Island boardwalk. My pace was that of a turtle and I loved it. The weather was perfect. I stopped to literally smell all the flowers and watch the snails and slugs crawl across the road. I looked at the architecture of the buildings and homes. I spent time speaking with the locals and waving at people driving by in their cars. I tasted each bite of my food and sips of my drinks. I played with all the dogs and talked to the geese, cows, goats, sheep, donkeys and horses as I passed by. I stopped to pick wild berries and look at a huge wild mushroom. After a long discussion we are inconclusive as to whether or not it was poisonous. I did not touch it, so I think I’ll live to see another day. I even took a ride on a swing at the kid’s playground. It was all so glorious.
When there was nothing around, I listened to my audiobook for a while and some music that made me happy. I did some daydreaming and deep thinking. It was my favorite kind of day. Totally in the moment.
At one of the breaks, Stephen, Dora and I discussed what it’s like to arrive in Santiago. It’s exciting (such an accomplishment) but sad at the same time because it is over. This is Dora’s first Camino and she said she is already dreading the end. It’s going by so fast. She compared it to watching a really good movie. If she starts to watch a movie and she loves it, she will turn it off and wait to watch it when she can fully immerse herself in it because she will never want it to end. My sister is that way about books. She told me she doesn’t read the final two pages so it’s never over. It’s already been 16 days of hiking for me (19 for Stephen – he started in France) and part of me wants to go back and start over because I feel like I wasn’t paying attention the first time.
When I connect with people here, I don’t want to just talk about the weather, politics or their favorite sports team. I want to know what makes them tick. I want to discuss their philosophical views, human behavior observations, cultural similarities and differences, spirituality, life goals and dreams, etc. I want to be a sponge and learn as much as I can about myself and others while I’m here. So why rush?
I’m a late bloomer and I need to go at my own pace. But just like in our “regular lives,” there are societal and cultural rules/standards that we feel we need to fit into as well. It’s why big brands spend so much money in research before they launch a product. Sometimes those standards aren’t always best for us as an individual. I find myself trying to follow some sort of routine and timeline of the other pilgrims that may not be best for me. I love that I got to slow down and watch a bee gather pollen on a flower today. It fit the pace at which I learn and process stuff. Yesterday, I made a decision again out of fear of falling behind or not being with the group. Maybe missing a connection. But I personally missed out on a whole day of the Camino, my Camino. I don’t even remember what the villages and nature looked like, smelled like or how I even felt because I was so focused on the stupid map and arriving as some random destination. With each Camino I’m trying not to do that. I’m trying to delve into who I am and what I want for my life moving forward. What is best for me. I’ve spent too much time trying to fit in where I will never fit. I’m the square peg trying to squeeze myself into the round hole. I believe when we start making decisions that match our authentic selves, everyone benefits. I’m a work in progress.
So for now, I’m slowing down and going to connect with the world around me. Ultimately, the steps that I leave behind, I want to leave them with a little light that maybe wasn’t there before I walked the path.
…..
We saw three more electric (humanless) lawn mowers. They are so weird but seem to do a great job on the lawn.
Champ (aka Stephen) and I are still bickering like a brother and sister about yesterday’s mileage. He swears it was shorter and the direct route. I beg to differ, my Camino friend.
I’m a murderer. Actually a serial killer. There were hundreds of snails crossing the road this morning and I accidentally crushed two of them while walking. Ugh. That is one of the worst, most heart wrenching sounds ever. RIP Snails.
We saw Felix from Miami again today at breakfast. He decided to stay an extra day in the town he slept in last night. If he catches us, he is definitely taking some sort of motorized vehicle or his alien abduction story just might be true. He literally pops up out of nowhere.
We played ping pong tonight!
Stephen continues to call me Melanie. Either he is extremely senile or I am not making much of an impression.
Saw my first cow parade of the Camino! I love the cow parades. It’s nothing special, just a moment in time when the farmers (usually women) move the cattle from one pasture to another but I still love it.
Highlight: Stephen, Dora and I discussed that when you are on the Camino, you really become grateful for the little things. Today it was the shower. It had the best water pressure, the temperature was really warm and there was a place to hang your towel and a chair that you could set your clothes on (not all accommodations have this luxury). It’s the little things.
Perspective is everything. I’m very grateful for each of you as well.
Viveda – Cóbreces – 16.4km
Goodnight and much love from Spain.
