I have a lot (and I mean a lot) of down time here. I usually fill up the days with doing little projects around the house with Luca, reading, going for walks, bike rides into the city center, or researching future places to travel (and obviously writing). But this weekend Luca and I decided to start a new “Camino.”
Like I’ve previously mentioned, Luca and I met in the summer of 2021 on the El Camino de Santiago. A 500 mile (800km) pilgrimage across Spain. It was his third time and my second doing this hike.
People hike the Camino for all sorts of reasons but honestly, the majority of the folks are there because they are going through some sort of transformation. I’ve met so many hikers who are trying to “find themselves,” or are processing the remnants of a divorce or some other ugly situation, or grieving a loved one. Of course, you meet a few people now and again who just love walking long distances or want to sacrifice their bodies for a religious or spiritual purpose. But primarily, it’s a transformational journey…and that’s why both Luca and I were there. He was working on some old deep family issues and I was there to process a relationship-ending argument with a close family member and a recent scare with melanoma…all of which was making us question our lives, our purpose, and our future.
When we met, we did not get along. We argued…a lot. I was in a bad mood but his anger boiled over like a bubbling pot of pasta. So much so that I avoided him at every intersection possible. I even crawled on my hands and knees over a bridge to Zubiri to avoid him seeing me come into town. The Camino is like playing leap frog. Just when you think you’ve lost someone, they pop up again.
After a few days, we kind of made a truce and started opening up about why we were walking the Camino and it turned out, we had quite a bit in common, including being “spiritual/metaphysical nerds” (as we call it) and wanting to heal ourselves so we could be better people. So we made a pact to be walking buddies for the hike and to use our new friendship to help each other on our journey of self-discovery. Because that’s one thing we both had learned, it takes relationships with other people (friends, family, lovers, a therapist, etc.) to help us move along the path. If you try to do it alone, most of the time you’ll just end up running circles around in your head. Our partnership was working. We had ground rules of always being honest and giving feedback, even if it was uncomfortable to say or hear. As we would walk, not only would we talk but we would listen to YouTube videos each of us had found about one topic or another…he introduced me to people like Jordan Peterson and I shared Gabor Maté. It was all very helpful. We both had a couple of breakthroughs along the way and at the end of the hike, he invited me to go with him to Florence (I had another month in Europe and I had planned on traveling) to continue our Camino. So I went to Italy with him. We had a great time…until the very sad goodbye at the train station. It was one of those Hollywood movie goodbyes, “will we ever see each other again?” “I promise I’ll write (text).” You know the gushing, teary-eyed ones.
Fast forward to today. We have remained in contact for most of the last year and a half. At one point this whole relationship didn’t seem realistic so we parted ways for awhile but would send a text every now and again to check in on the other. I think we both really missed each other and our time together on the Camino. During the time we were apart both of our lives took a bit of a tumble again so I decided to do the Camino (again) in May/June 2022 but this time I took a different route – El Camino del Norte – across the top of Spain. I texted Luca after about a week of hiking to tell him what I was up to and that I had seen something on the Norte that reminded me of him. He immediately asked if I would come back to Italy after I was finished with the hike. I told him, “no.” I didn’t want to get my feelings hurt again when we realized this wouldn’t work (again). “We live two different lives, in two different countries.” He was persistent so after a couple of weeks of hiking I agreed to come back to Florence but only after I spent some time in Portugal. I had wanted to go the year before but Luca needed to get back to work.
So here I am, back in Florence for the third time in a year and a half. Which brings me back to my original point of this story…Luca and I are doing another Camino but this one doesn’t involve hiking. When we met in 2021, I was reading a book by Martha Beck called The Way of Integrity. It’s brilliant. She uses Dante’s, The Divine Comedy as an outline. (Side note, last year when Luca found out about this book and it’s inspiration, he took me to see Dante’s house here in Florence. Serendipity, I tell ya.) I liked the book so much that I decided to bring it with me again on this trip and do the exercises in the book…again. However, this time, Luca wanted to do them too. So, I read the book aloud and then we take turns talking out our experiences with the exercises. So far, it’s going great and I’m feeling like I’m discovering more and more, not only about myself but Luca as well. From what he says, he feels the same. It’s nice to have a partner to have deep discussions with other than the weather, politics, or the latest celebrity gossip…but I do enjoy some hot gossip every now and again.
Neither of us know what is going to become of this relationship. Maybe we are just meant to be Camino partners helping each other explore deeper parts of our lives…since we do technically live in two different countries (and I have to leave in Jan because of the 90 day rule) or maybe there is more and we can figure it out. Either way, I’m happy that our paths have crossed.
Maybe in the next post, I’ll tell you about all the weird ways that Luca and my life have intersected over the years before we ever even knew each other. It’s a little woo woo.
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From the terrace we can see (and hear) the dogs playing in the dog park below. I love drinking my morning coffee and watching them run around having the time of their lives while their owners scream their names to behave. “Maya! Maya! Maaaaa-yaaaaaa!” is the most common name shouted, both in the morning an afternoon. Maya has selective hearing it appears. Ha!
I often go for walks in the park that is next to the house and watch the old folks playing cards at the picnic tables and the kids playing on the playground equipment. I haven’t figured out yet what card game they are playing…but give me a little time and practice with the Italian language and I might just ask them.
Luca and I took another 3+ hour bike ride on Sunday. We rode to the city park for our morning coffee and then around Florence including some of the outskirts. We stopped in a smaller park and enjoyed the sunshine and the views…or panorama as he calls it. Then we grabbed a sandwich from Porcobrado which is apparently a new spot in Florence with a “new” type of sandwich. Back home in KC we call it a pulled pork sandwich and it includes BBQ sauce. Here it is pork that has been soaked in different sauces. Luca got the one with red onion and I got the one seasoned with Aglione (garlic, tomato, oil & chili peppers). They also had jalapeño and Chianti wine sauces. The sandwiches were good but KC’s is better in my opinion. We ate the sammies in Santa Croce Square on the steps of the church and watched the people before going home to take the traditional Italian afternoon nap. It was perfect Sunday.
Goodnight and much love from Florence, Italy 🇮🇹
