“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.” – William James
Luca lives in a villa on the outskirts of Florence, so tourists in this area are a rarity…which makes me an unusual character to see and hear while shopping for groceries at the store and farmers market, dining in the restaurants and talking on the phone in the park. I get a lot of stares in his neighborhood compared to the city center where tourists are the norm.
I remember when I first started traveling outside the United States and people would stare at me, my conditioning would kick in. Did I have something in my teeth or a stain on my shirt? Is there toilet paper on my shoe? “Why are you staring at me?”, I would think to myself. I’ve become so used to being the misfit that I now welcome the stares which quickly turn into smiles when my face lights up with excitement about their curiosity in me and then a quick “hello” starts a conversation. I’m bold about connecting with others…it’s a confidence I’ve gained over the years from being the oddball. I’ve come to understand that most people just want to learn about the one thing that doesn’t look like the others and a few people may be a little nosy as to why I am there. But most of the time, these are positive interactions.
Yesterday, Luca and I were shopping together in his favorite grocery store, Lidl, when I noticed an elderly woman staring at me. Luca and I had been discussing something in English when I quickly realized that was the reason for her piqued interest in me. I smiled and said “Ciao.” She got the biggest smile on her face, said “Ciao” plus many other words in Italian that I didn’t understand. Luca just shook his head. He has become accustom to me collecting people along the way. The nice woman and my paths crossed a couple more times as we criss-crossed throughout the aisles. Every time we passed, she smiled a big smile and our little connection of kindness was formed. I feel like our little vibe of positivity was starting to spread throughout the produce section as other people took notice.
Today, I rode the tram with Sybil to the airport (sadly, she flew home today to NYC). We boarded at the Talenti stop in Luca’s neighborhood. It was extremely crowded so Sybil got on the tram at one door and I jumped on a little further down the line. After the tram started moving I noticed that the majority of the people in my little section were looking at me…I just smiled which seemed to create a mirroring effect. While we were riding along I started to think about how as a general reaction we tend to notice the differences between each other and overlook our similarities. Aren’t most of us just trying to make the most out of our daily lives? Be close to family & friends. Find love. Make money. Raise a family. Enjoy a vacation or a ballgame every once in awhile…maybe host a BBQ with some friends. Isn’t this mostly the point?
This reminded me of the beginning scene in the book/movie Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. “l have a friend, Deborah, a psychologist who was asked by the city of Philadelphia if she could offer psychological counseling to Cambodian refugees…boat people, who had recently arrived in the city. Deborah was daunted by the task. These Cambodians had suffered genocide, starvation, relatives murdered before their eyes…years in refugee camps, harrowing boat trips to the West. How could she relate to their suffering? How could she help these people? So guess what all these people wanted to talk about…with my friend Deborah, the psychologist. It was all, “l met this guy in the refugee camp. I thought he really loved me, but when we got separated he took up with my cousin. Now he says he loves me and keeps calling me. They’re married now. What should I do?” ….. This is how we are.”
Yes, this is how we are.
We said goodbye to Sybil today. It was sad to see her go. It’s been lovely to have her here. I met Sybil in 2016 when I began working for The New York Open Center. She was my boss. I had left my job at Barclays Center/Brooklyn Nets to go on what turned out to be a personal quest to find – what I didn’t really know – it was one of those leap of faith moments – where you pray the net will appear before you hit the ground with a thud. I had left my secure paycheck and healthcare to…to…to…I wasn’t really sure. Maybe to find…the meaning of life, the cosmos, or possibly a deeper sense and understanding of myself…I don’t really know what I was (or still am) doing but I was definitely on some sort of journey. I applied for the job because of Elizabeth Gilbert – the author I mentioned above. Talk about kismet – or beshert referencing my coffee club guys. Anyhoo, I had been looking for a spiritual center for years where I could learn as much as possible about as many different faiths, spiritualities, modalities and religions as I could find. I think I was looking for the similarities. I grew up Catholic but was curious about the other “options”. I mean, really, we are what we are based off of family and location. I kind of wanted to see what the options were and if something else resonated a little more with my freewheeling spirit. I found just what I was looking for at The Open Center. Elizabeth had posted on Facebook about giving a lecture at The Open Center about her new book Big Magic. Sadly, I saw the post on Thursday and the event had happened earlier in the week but my interest was piqued in this center that I had never heard of. I googled the website and “ahhhhh”, it was like the heavens had opened and the angels were singing. I had found my people! So I applied immediately and got the job. It didn’t pay much but I didn’t care, I was on my personal Hero’s Journey, and I could take all the classes I wanted for free! I took at least 50 during my time there. I started with Shamanism. It was amazing. We did meditations/journeying and I learned so much about myself. I took a Reiki class and how to work with energy. I loved the courses about Chinese medicine taught by my friend Drew DiVittorio and how you can heal the body with food. I listened in on the astrology and palm reading classes. I learned about Buddhism, Hinduism, and Sufism. It was incredible. I could not get enough information. I was a sponge. It was one of the best times in my life. I was learning and growing at warp speed. And you know what I found out after taking all of these classes? Everyone is the same underneath the clothing. We all are just trying to live our lives to the best of our abilities but we get distracted by each others outfits. The hairstyle or the language or religious tradition might be different but if you look a little deeper for the understanding, within it lies our similarities.
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Sybil is a knitter…a very talented one at that. So on her list of things to do was to visit a couple of yarn shops. A first for me! If you’re into that sort of thing, the two we visited seemed to have nice selections. Campolmi Filati | Dettaglio & Mirko Filati.
Sybil and I ate at a restaurant that she dined at years ago when she was in Florence with her father. It was amazing and I highly recommend it if you are in town. I had the beef ragu – the photo doesn’t look like much but the flavor was incredible. The waiter even commented that it was one of his favorite dishes on the menu. Sybil had the Guinea fowl with potatoes. She let me try a bite and it was delicious as well. Cantinetta Antinori at Piazza degli Antinori, 3 – Firenze. Definitely look up the menu online.
Best gelato in my opinion (and Luca’s) is at Gelateria La Carraia (Piazza Nazario Sauro, 25). I’m a fan of the Sinfonia Carraia – Cream with orange sauce & dark chocolate. It makes for a perfect photo to grab a couple of scoops and eat it while standing on the bridge and admiring the view.
Luca has enjoyed the pancakes from the Cider Mill so much that he has made some everyday…which makes my heart happy that he likes something from my home. This weekend we are testing his skills at pumpkin carving…this will be his first time ever carving a pumpkin. I’ll let you know if any fingers go missing.
Goodnight and much love from Italy. 🇮🇹