“There once was a wise woman traveling in the mountains who found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she encountered a traveler who was very hungry and she opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler seeing the precious stone asked if she would give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew that the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But after only a few days, he returned to give the stone back to the woman. I have been thinking, he said, I know how valuable the stone is, but I’m giving it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. What would that be? asked the woman. I want you to give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.” – an excerpt from Prem’s, my yoga teacher, book, The Only Way Out Is In.
I’ve met many wonderful people along my journey around the globe, including some pretty incredible yogis at the 4-week retreat I’m attending at Ashtanga Yoga Bali Research Center. Marie from France is definitely someone who has made a huge impact on me during my three short weeks so far in Bali. We haven’t spent a ton of time together but the moments we have shared have inspired deep reflection within me.
I’ve written about Marie in a couple of previous posts. I joked about her being like a mountain goat climbing Mount Batur and how she is a superhero. I’ve watched her during yoga and am in awe of her focus and dedication to her practice. Plus, I’m a wee bit envious of French women in general and their, confidence, courage, and capabilities. I’ve met many French women hiking and camping on the Camino. They have a natural way about them. They bathe in the streams and carry packs twice their size. They are awesome and Marie is no exception to this rule.
Many people who visit Bali rent scooters during their visit. It’s an easy, convenient, and cheap way to get around the island. I have not done this until last Saturday. I am a little annoyed with myself that it took me three weeks to build up the courage to drive one myself. I know, right? You’d think someone like me trotting around the planet wouldn’t think twice about renting one, but for some reason, I’ve been scared to do it. So, I’ve been using the local version of Uber, Grab, to hop rides on the back of motorbikes. For $0.79 + tip, you can go anywhere in the city.
So, when Marie suggested I rent a scooter and go for a ride with her to a Sanur beach about an hour outside of Ubud, I had a slight hesitation at first. Negative thoughts rushed in like ocean waves crashing against the rocky cliffs. “I don’t know what I’m doing. What if I can’t do it? What if I crash? What if I fall off? blah, blah, blah.” I took a breath and let the thoughts run in one ear and out the other. I put all the fears and doubts of not knowing what I was doing or the possibilities of all the things that could go wrong behind me and said a little “watch over me” prayer as I walked to the bike rental shop across the street from where I am staying.
A lovely man, Kadek (#2 in birth order), was in charge of the rentals and was of great help throughout the process. He didn’t have a “lighter” bike at the moment, all he had were high-powered racing bikes, which I was not about to put between my legs. So he sent me to one of his friend’s shops up the street. Sadly, he had the same situation. I went back to Kadek and he recommended another place and the other end of the street. I asked if he would call first so I didn’t make the trek and come up empty-handed. Good news, they had a Scoopy, made by Honda. A nice, easy-to-drive, lightweight scooter that you see all over town.
I walked down to the shop and introduced myself, mentioning Kadek, who also informed me of what the price should be before I got there just to make sure I was taken care of properly. They guys were kind, honest, and more than happy to help me. They asked if I knew how to ride a scooter. “Of course, I drive them all the time,” I replied.
That was a lie.
And kind of a big one.
I applied it under the thought of “fake it till you make it.” So sue me.
The truth is, I have (almost) absolutely zero experience driving a scooter. I’ve only driven a scooter once when I was probably 17 at the Lake of the Ozark Resort, Tan Tara, in Missouri. Riding on the other hand, I’m a pro and I credit this skillset to my former Italian flame, Luca. He taught me how to be a good rider by not shifting my body weight, trusting the driver, relaxing, and enjoying the ride. Actually, a couple of locals have commented on what a good rider I am. So, although Luca and my romance was short-lived, he did teach me a thing or two and I’m very grateful.
The guys at the bike shop said, “oh wonderful, glad you can drive!” Then asked for a 300,000 rupiahs deposit ($19.78) and 80,000 rupiahs ($5.27) for the rental. I signed a couple of pieces of paper, showed them my passport and that was that. Easiest rental of anything, ever.
They showed me how the bike worked (which might have been a tipoff that I had no idea what I was doing), I said a quick but very sincere prayer, “please don’t let me wreck, fall off this damn thing, or run over a chicken,” (I know what you are thinking, but the chickens can be an issue – every time one runs in front of the car on the way to/from yoga, Eddie yells, “ahhhhh, he wants to be chicken satay!), and I was off with the brown-colored Scoopy that I named Poopy. Because what else do you name a Scoopy of that color?
Thankfully, it was a Hindu holiday so the traffic was lighter than usual. Within the first five minutes, Poopy and I were like old pals. I was surprised at how quickly I was able to adapt to my new mode of transportation. I think the “fake it till you make it” mantra was working. Which brings me to Marie, my scooter-riding travel companion for the day. As I mentioned above and in previous posts, French women (I personally know) have confidence that is hard to describe. It’s not arrogance or egotistical, it’s a true power of self. They know they can do it. They believe in themselves. They don’t play small for anyone but they are humble. And they just go out and do these amazing things without questioning themselves. Marie has got that power. And the best part, by spending time with her, it’s rubbing off on me. I can see it in little changes, like renting a scooter when my mind has been talking me out of it for weeks…even though I really wanted to from day one.
Jim Rohn says, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Whether that is true or not I have no idea, the online community seems to be torn over this statement. But from personal experience, I do know that the other people I hang out with for extended periods of time do have an effect on me – good and bad. I notice I’m a little more alive when I’m around my friends who love their lives and are optimistic. I’ve also caught myself playing it small or getting grumpy if I’m with someone who is negative, insecure, or jealous – this is not a good look for me, nor does it feel good. In this case with Marie, I can see my self-confidence growing – and I really, really, really like it. I stand a little taller (which I usually try to make myself smaller because of prior comments about my height), my smile is a little bigger and I feel better about myself.
When I was younger and an athlete (I think I still am an athlete even though I don’t play on a team anymore), I 100% completely believed in myself and my abilities. I was a team player and I knew that if we needed an extra boost on the scoreboard, I could contribute. If there was a problem at work, I would dive right in to find a solution. If there was a new experience to try, I’d jump in face first and ask questions later. But over the last few years, I’ve lost my confidence. I’ve noticed that I doubt myself or second guess myself on things that have always come very naturally to me. I know when it started and why. I can see how over time it has progressed but now it’s time to reroute those limiting thoughts and beliefs that are wearing wagon ruts in my brain. Growing our confidence or changing our beliefs about ourselves takes attention, patience, and dedication. For too long, I wasn’t paying attention and my thoughts were taking me on a voyage away from the essence of who I truly am – a confident, capable, beautiful human who loves adventure, meeting new people, and experiencing everything this short time on the planet has to offer. Just by being her authentic self, Marie has helped me see that in myself. What a gift she has given me.
So back to the ride. Marie is a wonderful driver (even though she also just learned how to drive a scooter in India a few months ago) navigator and leader – she never left me behind and we only missed a turn once but she knew it immediately when it happened and course corrected (another great quality about her). We had a fantastic time at the beach; swimming, reading books, and chatting about life. We enjoyed a lovely meal on the oceanfront before making it safely back to Ubud in one piece, but with a red lobster sunburn all over my body. Dammmit.
The bike shop guys high-fived me on my return, gave me my deposit back, and took my photo. I’m ready for my next scooter trip – which happens to be today. Made (Ma-day), my Airbnb host and I are going to check out some waterfalls and try some local fresh fish made the Balinese way. Yum!
It’s my last week here in Bali. I’m already getting a little sad to leave, but all in all, I’m pretty happy with how life and the trip are going so far. There have been some very dark moments of self-reflection (the mind is a powerful thing) of course but I’m learning a ton about myself. I’m getting my confidence back. I’m changing old negative patterns. I’ve acquired a couple of new skills that I can take with me anywhere I land (Ashtanga yoga & scooter driving), I didn’t run over a chicken or wreck the bike, and I’ve met some incredible people who have changed my life for the better. It doesn’t take much for me to be grateful these days.
Thanks for reading. 🙏
Goodnight and much love from Bali! 🇮🇩
PS: Here is another great story about Marie. She was a pharmaceutical rep in France for 20 years before resigning from her position to travel. She spent six months in India before coming to Bali. While she was in India, she met an Italian man (no romance as she says, she has a boyfriend in France), who is opening a yoga retreat center in Sicily where the people will stay and eat a few meals on-site, and he was looking for a cook. She is not a cook but she took the job anyway for the experience of it and is learning as she goes. What an adventure! So, while here in Bali, she is learning and practicing cooking/baking at a local restaurant called 9 Angels. She made a carrot cake that was delicious. I’m sure Marie will thrive no matter where she goes or what she does. You may not recognize it when you first meet her, but she really is a superhero.
