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Heads up: For the next couple of days we will be in a remote area of the Semenic – Cheile Carasului National Park – or as one Google reviewer wrote, “Nature as raw as one can find in Europe.”
Oh goodie – tell us what we’ve won, Don.
We will enjoy another “rustic experience” in the woods – and you know what that means folks – no electricity, no running water, and pooping on the ground…sorry, I mean, no blog posts since there is no cell service.
Are we having fun yet?
“You get what you pay for.” Me, on more than one occasion.
A Complimentary Haircut
When we arrived at our accommodation, Massimo asked me to give him a haircut.
Freehand. With clippers. Without a guard.
I’m sorry, but there are certain decisions in life where you have to stop and ask yourself, How did we get here?
This was one of them.
What an absolutely terrible idea.
I’m about as close to having the skills of a professional barber as Edward Scissorhands was to eating a bowl of spaghetti bolognese.
And yet, Massimo had complete confidence in me. Like, a dangerous amount of confidence.
What an idiot.
Which tells me one of two things:
-
He has an extraordinarily high opinion of my abilities.
-
He has absolutely no understanding of my abilities.
#2 is probably more accurate – with the language barrier and all.
He had a very specific “vision” for how he wanted his hair cut.
Ahhh, a “request” – how adorable considering he apparently had no idea how low my Great Clips salon skill set actually is.
I don’t take “requests,” Sir.
I’m an Army barber. Buzz cuts for everyone! 💪
He pointed to the hair above one ear, then drew an imaginary line around the back of his head, just above his neck, all the way to the other ear.
“Only cut below this line,” he explained. “The top is fine.”
Ummm…
Let’s call a spade a spade, Massimo.
You don’t want a haircut.
You want the gray hairs removed.
Yeah. Got it.
I started on the sides, taking my time and carefully making sure everything looked even. I was feeling pretty good about myself and my newfound haircutting skills.
The front was especially important because, obviously, that’s the part he can see.
The back?
Well…
The back was another story.
At some point, my hand slipped.
Just a tiny little slip.
Nothing really.
Itty bitty…
The clippers buzzed straight through the hair in the center of the back of his head, leaving behind what I can only describe as an “almost bald spot.”
You wanted it high and tight, right?
Ooooopsie.
I froze.
Massimo felt it immediately.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?”
“Nothing. Don’t ask questions. I’m working, here.”
“You cut too much!”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did!”
I tried to inspect the damage, which was, ummm, not great.
I assured him nobody would notice.
Which was technically true.
Nobody would notice if they were standing in front of him.
From behind, however, there were some…creative choices.
I thought about turning his new air conditioned patch of no-hair into a shape, like a lightning bolt, a bold ❌, or a star, something that screams “I am macho,” for our Legend to intimidate the other hikers.
There was also another minor issue that I noticed during my thorough inspection. It appeared, the left side was now noticeably higher and shorter than the right.
But honestly, symmetry is overrated.
Hair grows back.
Probably.
Wear a hat and get over it, Macho Man.
I did my best to blend everything together, which is barber terminology for making the original mistake look intentional. I know because, I’m a professional now.
By the end, Massimo had a haircut.
Was it the haircut he “requested”?
No.
Was it even remotely professional?
Also no.
Did he pay me?
No.
Did he survive?
Yes.
And that’s what matters.
Besides, you get what you pay for.
And in this case, he paid nothing.
So technically, it was a very competitive price.
I also trimmed his eyebrows.
On the bright side, he still has both of them.
Hey, don’t ask a novice to do the job of a professional.
Grumpy Cat, A Tire Fire, and Brown Toilet Water
After another hearty, meat-heavy, artery-clogging Romanian breakfast with Grumpy Cat – who gave Massimo the stink-eye for the entire meal…ugh, enough with the male aggression, you two – Agnes, Massimo, and I set off on another adventurous hike across the ever-so-wonderful Romanian landscape.
Agnes planned to walk two stages in one – she is a superstar and on a schedule to catch a flight back to Switzerland.
Out of the gate, we kicked off our grand adventure by walking 1.5 kilometers in the wrong direction, totaling an unnecessary three kilometers added to our already long journey.
We are absolutely killing it on this hike, guys.🙄
Subconsciously, I think we are trying to make up for those few sections we skipped when I was sick.
We are almost caught up.
Below are the faces of two hikers who have just retraced their steps and discovered the path not taken.
Dammit.
It wasn’t long after that moment that Agnes informed us that she needed to part ways and get a move on to finish both stages before dinner.
Honestly, I think she thought hiking alone would be better and more productive than hiking with two yahoos who continue to get lost.
She is probably correct.
Massimo and I, meanwhile, took our usual slow-and-steady approach punctuated by many strategically timed snack breaks.
At one point, Massimo struggled to open a bag of peanuts. His Legend status is officially hanging in the balance after this embarrassing display of weakness.
The views, however, were stunning.
From the top of the mountain, we could see the lake and campsite where we had stayed the night before.
Unfortunately, the campsite was located next to the “dry section” of the lake so we never saw any actual water while we were there.
Par for the course.
Massimo was utterly annoyed that he couldn’t take his much-anticipated “bath” in a large body of water.
Next time, big guy, next time.
Nobody can seem to come to an agreement on if the foliage is changing colors because autumn is near or if it’s simple another consequence of climate change and global warming. It’s been extremely hot and dry in Romania. Some of the fruit hanging from the trees is even shriveled up.
It’s probably both.
Either way, it’s beautiful.
About an hour and a half before the end of the hike, things took a dramatic turn.
The final stretch was terrible.
We went from stunning mountains and
peaceful countryside to walking through some of the ugliest and dirtiest parts of the city.
I’m mean, just look at the intellectual and witty graffiti adorning the facade of a local government building. They even used two colors of paint. Brilliant.
I immediately found myself missing the leg-screaming, almost-vertical climbs in the middle of nowhere.
Never thought I’d say that.
We are staying in a town called, Reșița, and what we’ve mostly seen so far is old industrial buildings, factories, smokestacks, and abandoned aqueducts and train tracks.
Charming.
We walked through a very poor neighborhood that sits immediately next to a massive black structure with enormous amounts of water pouring out of the bottom – presumably to cool whatever industrial nightmare was happening inside.
The smell was atrocious.
I felt terrible for the people who live nearby.
It looked like the Death Star of Romania blocking out the sun.
Inside one of the abandoned factories, it appeared – from both sight and smell – that someone was burning tires. We are surrounded by geniuses.
Black smoke was billowing out the old broken windows.
Massimo and I had to cover our faces with our bandanas to avoid inhaling the black smoke filling the street.
It’s definitely not the best section of the trek or Romania that we’ve experienced.
Our accommodation isn’t exactly an improvement, either.
We’re staying in a two-bedroom, rundown apartment that appears to have been frozen in time somewhere during the communist era.
I’ll spare you the photos of the inside.
You’re welcome.
It smells like smoke – not from the tire fire, thankfully – and the water coming out of the sink and toilet is brown.
You get what you pay for, right?
So we did what anyone would do in this situation.
We went out for a drink.
It’s called, “Making the best of it.”
Honestly, I’m not sure which part was the biggest disaster of the day – the free haircut, the extra 3 km, the tire fire, or the shitty apartment – but all of it combined makes for an interesting blog post.
Much love & gratitude. Namaste 🙏
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This cat was one of a kind. I held my camera up to take his photo and he went in for a close-up. As if to say, “You better take a good one. I don’t have time to waste, you idiot.”
